From perlguy at earthlink.net Tue Nov 2 11:52:58 2004 From: perlguy at earthlink.net (Douglas E. Miles) Date: Tue Nov 2 11:55:26 2004 Subject: [Phoenix-pm] No meeting this week Message-ID: <4187C97A.1010800@earthlink.net> All, Sorry, but because of work commitments, I won't be able to put a meeting together this week. If someone else wants to set something up, feel free. I'm not sure if I'll be able to set one up at all this month. We'll see. I apologize for the inconvenience and/or trauma. :) From scott at illogics.org Wed Nov 10 02:09:19 2004 From: scott at illogics.org (Scott Walters) Date: Wed Nov 10 02:12:00 2004 Subject: [Phoenix-pm] Wanted: Reviewers to read _Perl 6 Now_ and potentially say nice things Message-ID: <20041110080919.GH11690@illogics.org> Hi Perl Mongers, I need people who have time and inclination to write a book review to read copies of _Perl 6 Now_. Marketing (evil, run!) wants me to hunt down otherwise sane people who would be inclined to submit a review to Slashdot, Amazon, etc should they happen to read a book they like after this seed is planted in their head (and before an alien bursts from their stomach). If you _don't_ like the book, I'd like to know all about it, but do me a favor and buy your own damn copy if you just want to rag on it publically, mmm'kay? Seriously, I'm going to pass out copies at Perl Mongers meetings when I get my hands on them, but in addition to that, I need mailing addresses of people interested in doing book reviews. If I recognize your name, so much the better. In other words, people who have never posted here before and haven't written cool CPAN modules will be the last in line (assuming there is in fact a line). After I get your name and mailing address, there will be a wait - probably over a month - while machines stamp the lettering onto the pages. Mail your address to me, not the list. Again, if you're *not* inclined to do a review, don't mail me but go to the meetings instead - this will save Apress on shipping charges as I'm getting one big box of these things. If you email me something indicating you didn't read or comprehend this post I'll assume you're not likely to comprehend the book either and I will then decline to send you a copy. If you have a _friend_ who has written reviews before or otherwise comes to mind, feel free to pass this request along, but please, do not post it for everyone to see as this is only open for a few days and I'm favoring people I know of anyway. Okay, that's it. Let's hear from you. Thanks, -scott P.S.: I've attached a description of the book as Google doesn't have too much useful to say about this title yet and the text on Apress' website sucks rocks. -------------- next part -------------- BOOK DESCRIPTION Perl 6 Now: The Core Ideas Illustrated with Perl 5 introduces continuations, coroutines, binding (or aliases), hyper operators that work on lists of data at once, set operators that work on complex datatypes, lightweight multidimensional arrays, strong type checking, autoboxing, precompilation, automatic module dependency installation, and more. It shows the Perl 5 roots of these ideas, and shows how Perl 6 generalizes them to be more widely useful and more interoperable. These ideas support faster, cleaner, more scalable, more reliable code capable of solving more demanding problems. Perl 6 Now takes the structure of a standard programming book, where it first briefly teaches the basics from a Perl 6 perspective, touching on variable interpolation, datastructure use, object construction, threads, closures, symbol tables, and other core features. This books is for those eager to see where Perl is headed, Perl 5 programmers who want to know that their favorite tricks will still work in some form, and programmers wishing to open their minds to advanced programming topics taken from several of the most powerful and interesting languages on the market. Examples are written both for Perl 5 and Perl 6 when the exact Perl 6 syntax is known. Perl 5 examples use dozens of modules that backport Perl 6 features, happened to have evolved along the same lines, or saved as a (sometimes little known) basis of the Perl 6 version of the feature. Though Perl 6 changes the fundamental syntax in some areas, Perl 5 code isn't left in the lurch. Thanks to PONIE, code from both versions may coexist in a single program. The programmer needs to adjust only a few habits and a learn a few new things, and this early adopters guide will help you do these things. AUTHOR BIO Scott Walters has been programming computers since 1984 (professionally since 1996). He built the corporate intranet at Mayo Clinic, Scottsdale, and did pretty much everything for two startups. For fun, he runs http://perldesignpatterns.com, does CGI scripting for the NetBSD Project and http://projects.netbsd.org, maintains several CPAN modules, and helps coordinate Perl Mongers meetings for Phoenix Perl Mongers. From scott at illogics.org Fri Nov 12 04:16:27 2004 From: scott at illogics.org (Scott Walters) Date: Fri Nov 12 04:19:21 2004 Subject: [Phoenix-pm] [perl #32407] not initialized $_ causes SIGSEGV in Perl_sv_recode_to_utf8 Message-ID: <20041112101627.GN11690@illogics.org> Another crasher - wee!! ----- Forwarded message from "ae5t-ksn@asahi-net.or.jp" ----- Return-Path: perl5-porters-return-95798-scott=slowass.net@perl.org X-Original-To: scott@slowass.net Delivered-To: scott@slowass.net Received: from lists.develooper.com (x6.develooper.com [63.251.223.186]) by slowass.net (Postfix) with SMTP id 781CC5538C for ; Fri, 12 Nov 2004 01:55:58 -0800 (PST) Received: (qmail 15617 invoked by uid 514); 12 Nov 2004 09:58:27 -0000 Mailing-List: contact perl5-porters-help@perl.org; run by ezmlm Precedence: bulk list-help: list-unsubscribe: list-post: X-List-Archive: Delivered-To: mailing list perl5-porters@perl.org Delivered-To: moderator for perl5-porters@perl.org Received: (qmail 10779 invoked from network); 11 Nov 2004 10:23:57 -0000 Delivered-To: perl5-porters@perl.org X-Spam-Status: No, hits=-11.9 required=8.0 tests=BAYES_00,PERLBUG_CONF,RT_TAG X-Spam-Check-By: la.mx.develooper.com Delivered-To: rt-perl5-testers@x1.develooper.com Mail-From: perlbug-followup@perl.org Thu Nov 11 02:23:50 2004 Delivered-To: bugs-perl5-testers@netlabs.develooper.com X-Spam-Status: No, hits=-11.9 required=8.0 tests=BAYES_00,PERLBUG_CONF,RT_TAG X-Spam-Check-By: la.mx.develooper.com Date: 11 Nov 2004 10:23:42 -0000 From: "ae5t-ksn@asahi-net.or.jp" X-RT-NewTicket: yes To: bugs-bitbucket@rt.perl.org Mail-Followup-To: perl5-porters@perl.org Reply-To: perl5-porters@perl.org X-RT-Will-Also-CC: ae5t-ksn@asahi-net.or.jp, Subject: [perl #32407] not initialized $_ causes SIGSEGV in Perl_sv_recode_to_utf8 In-Reply-To: Message-ID: X-RT-Loop-Prevention: perl RT-Ticket: perl #32407 Managed-by: RT 3.0.11 (http://www.bestpractical.com/rt/) RT-Originator: ae5t-ksn@asahi-net.or.jp MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-8" X-RT-Original-Encoding: utf-8 Resent-To: perl5-porters@perl.org Resent-Message-Id: <20041112095558.781CC5538C@slowass.net> Resent-Date: Fri, 12 Nov 2004 01:55:58 -0800 (PST) Resent-From: perl5-porters-return-95798-scott=slowass.net@perl.org # New Ticket Created by ae5t-ksn@asahi-net.or.jp # Please include the string: [perl #32407] # in the subject line of all future correspondence about this issue. # This is a bug report for perl from ae5t-ksn@asahi-net.or.jp, generated with the help of perlbug 1.35 running under perl v5.8.4. ----------------------------------------------------------------- [Please enter your report here] When I run the following command line, perl dies with SIGSEGV. perl -Mencoding=utf-8 -e 'chomp' With gdb, it dies at Perl_sv_recode_to_utf8(). I encountered this bug by perl 5.8.4 on Debian (sid). Some my friends reported that perl 5.8.5 on FreeBSD 4.10-stable, perl 5.8.4 on Solaris 9 causes same problem. KUSANO Takayuki [Please do not change anything below this line] ----------------------------------------------------------------- --- Flags: category=core severity=medium --- Site configuration information for perl v5.8.4: Configured by Debian Project at Sat Nov 6 18:41:03 UTC 2004. Summary of my perl5 (revision 5 version 8 subversion 4) configuration: Platform: osname=linux, osvers=2.6.10-rc1-bk1, archname=i386-linux-thread-multi uname='linux cyberhq 2.6.10-rc1-bk1 #1 smp sat oct 23 12:56:07 pdt 2004 i686 gnulinux ' config_args='-Dusethreads -Duselargefiles -Dccflags=-DDEBIAN -Dcccdlflags=-fPIC -Darchname=i386-linux -Dprefix=/usr -Dprivlib=/usr/share/perl/5.8 -Darchlib=/usr/lib/perl/5.8 -Dvendorprefix=/usr -Dvendorlib=/usr/share/perl5 -Dvendorarch=/usr/lib/perl5 -Dsiteprefix=/usr/local -Dsitelib=/usr/local/share/perl/5.8.4 -Dsitearch=/usr/local/lib/perl/5.8.4 -Dman1dir=/usr/share/man/man1 -Dman3dir=/usr/share/man/man3 -Dsiteman1dir=/usr/local/man/man1 -Dsiteman3dir=/usr/local/man/man3 -Dman1ext=1 -Dman3ext=3perl -Dpager=/usr/bin/sensible-pager -Uafs -Ud_csh -Uusesfio -Uusenm -Duseshrplib -Dlibperl=libperl.so.5.8.4 -Dd_dosuid -des' hint=recommended, useposix=true, d_sigaction=define usethreads=define use5005threads=undef useithreads=define usemultiplicity=define useperlio=define d_sfio=undef uselargefiles=define usesocks=undef use64bitint=undef use64bitall=undef uselongdouble=undef usemymalloc=n, bincompat5005=undef Compiler: cc='cc', ccflags ='-D_REENTRANT -D_GNU_SOURCE -DTHREADS_HAVE_PIDS -DDEBIAN -fno-strict-aliasing -I/usr/local/include -D_LARGEFILE_SOURCE -D_FILE_OFFSET_BITS=64', optimize='-O2', cppflags='-D_REENTRANT -D_GNU_SOURCE -DTHREADS_HAVE_PIDS -DDEBIAN -fno-strict-aliasing -I/usr/local/include' ccversion='', gccversion='3.3.5 (Debian 1:3.3.5-2)', gccosandvers='' intsize=4, longsize=4, ptrsize=4, doublesize=8, byteorder=1234 d_longlong=define, longlongsize=8, d_longdbl=define, longdblsize=12 ivtype='long', ivsize=4, nvtype='double', nvsize=8, Off_t='off_t', lseeksize=8 alignbytes=4, prototype=define Linker and Libraries: ld='cc', ldflags =' -L/usr/local/lib' libpth=/usr/local/lib /lib /usr/lib libs=-lgdbm -lgdbm_compat -ldb -ldl -lm -lpthread -lc -lcrypt perllibs=-ldl -lm -lpthread -lc -lcrypt libc=/lib/libc-2.3.2.so, so=so, useshrplib=true, libperl=libperl.so.5.8.4 gnulibc_version='2.3.2' Dynamic Linking: dlsrc=dl_dlopen.xs, dlext=so, d_dlsymun=undef, ccdlflags='-Wl,-E' cccdlflags='-fPIC', lddlflags='-shared -L/usr/local/lib' Locally applied patches: --- @INC for perl v5.8.4: /etc/perl /usr/local/lib/perl/5.8.4 /usr/local/share/perl/5.8.4 /usr/lib/perl5 /usr/share/perl5 /usr/lib/perl/5.8 /usr/share/perl/5.8 /usr/local/lib/site_perl . --- Environment for perl v5.8.4: HOME=/home/mickn LANG (unset) LANGUAGE (unset) LD_LIBRARY_PATH (unset) LOGDIR (unset) PATH=/usr/local/bin:/usr/bin:/bin:/usr/bin/X11:/usr/games PERL_BADLANG (unset) SHELL=/bin/bash ----- End forwarded message ----- From scott at illogics.org Mon Nov 15 16:02:21 2004 From: scott at illogics.org (Scott Walters) Date: Mon Nov 15 16:05:10 2004 Subject: [Phoenix-pm] Fwd: Phoenix Slashdot November Meetup is tomorrow! Message-ID: <20041115220221.GR11690@illogics.org> ----- Forwarded message from "Meetup.com" ----- Return-Path: info@meetup.com X-Original-To: scott@slowass.net Delivered-To: scott@slowass.net Received: from mail3.meetup.com (mail3.meetup.com [209.10.134.202]) by slowass.net (Postfix) with ESMTP id 367F65538C for ; Mon, 15 Nov 2004 12:10:25 -0800 (PST) Received: from admin.meetup.com (admin.int.meetup.com [192.168.11.50]) by mail3.meetup.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id AD94D400253 for ; Mon, 15 Nov 2004 15:12:53 -0500 (EST) Message-ID: <14360994.1100549573687.JavaMail.root@admin.meetup.com> From: "Meetup.com" To: scott@slowass.net Subject: Phoenix Slashdot November Meetup is tomorrow! Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-MEETUP-MESG-ID: 5222538 X-MEETUP-RECIP-ID: 40689 Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004 15:12:53 -0500 (EST) Just a quick automated reminder that Phoenix Slashdot Meetup Group has an event tomorrow. You didn't RSVP but if you can make it, here are the details: See who's coming and RSVP (it's not too late!): http://slashdot.meetup.com/10/events/3595303/ What: Phoenix Slashdot November Meetup When: Tuesday, November 16 at 7:00PM Where: To Be Determined Event Description: Lets see about actually getting a meetup to happen. Drop me a note if you have anything to suggest, whine about, or gripe. ----------------------------------------------------------------- HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE You received this message because you registered this email address at Meetup.com. To unsubscribe from the Meetup.com service, click: http://www.meetup.com/account/remove/ To remove yourself from individual Meetup Groups, visit your account page and select 'Remove yourself' under the name of the Group. http://www.meetup.com/account/ ----------------------------------------------------------------- ----- End forwarded message ----- From billn at billn.net Mon Nov 15 17:32:38 2004 From: billn at billn.net (Bill Nash) Date: Mon Nov 15 16:31:35 2004 Subject: [Phoenix-pm] Fwd: Phoenix Slashdot November Meetup is tomorrow! In-Reply-To: <20041115220221.GR11690@illogics.org> References: <20041115220221.GR11690@illogics.org> Message-ID: "Kind of pointless when a location hasn't even been chosen yet..." - billn On Mon, 15 Nov 2004, Scott Walters wrote: > ----- Forwarded message from "Meetup.com" ----- > > Return-Path: info@meetup.com > X-Original-To: scott@slowass.net > Delivered-To: scott@slowass.net > Received: from mail3.meetup.com (mail3.meetup.com [209.10.134.202]) > by slowass.net (Postfix) with ESMTP id 367F65538C > for ; Mon, 15 Nov 2004 12:10:25 -0800 (PST) > Received: from admin.meetup.com (admin.int.meetup.com [192.168.11.50]) > by mail3.meetup.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id AD94D400253 > for ; Mon, 15 Nov 2004 15:12:53 -0500 (EST) > Message-ID: <14360994.1100549573687.JavaMail.root@admin.meetup.com> > From: "Meetup.com" > To: scott@slowass.net > Subject: Phoenix Slashdot November Meetup is tomorrow! > Mime-Version: 1.0 > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii > Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit > X-MEETUP-MESG-ID: 5222538 > X-MEETUP-RECIP-ID: 40689 > Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004 15:12:53 -0500 (EST) > > Just a quick automated reminder that Phoenix Slashdot Meetup > Group has an event tomorrow. You didn't RSVP but if you can > make it, here are the details: > > See who's coming and RSVP (it's not too late!): > http://slashdot.meetup.com/10/events/3595303/ > > What: Phoenix Slashdot November Meetup > > When: Tuesday, November 16 at 7:00PM > Where: To Be Determined > > > > > Event Description: > Lets see about actually getting a meetup to happen. > > Drop me a note if you have anything to suggest, whine about, or > gripe. > > > ----------------------------------------------------------------- > HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE > You received this message because you registered this email > address at Meetup.com. > > To unsubscribe from the Meetup.com service, click: > http://www.meetup.com/account/remove/ > > To remove yourself from individual Meetup Groups, visit your > account page and select 'Remove yourself' under the name of the > Group. > http://www.meetup.com/account/ > ----------------------------------------------------------------- > > > ----- End forwarded message ----- > _______________________________________________ > Phoenix-pm mailing list > Phoenix-pm@mail.pm.org > http://www.pm.org/mailman/listinfo/phoenix-pm > From scott at illogics.org Mon Nov 15 17:02:33 2004 From: scott at illogics.org (Scott Walters) Date: Mon Nov 15 17:05:27 2004 Subject: [Phoenix-pm] Fwd: Phoenix Slashdot November Meetup is tomorrow! In-Reply-To: References: <20041115220221.GR11690@illogics.org> Message-ID: <20041115230233.GS11690@illogics.org> Yeah! At least us Perl Mongers *have* a location. Too bad we don't have a date... -scott On 0, Bill Nash wrote: > > "Kind of pointless when a location hasn't even been chosen yet..." > > - billn > > On Mon, 15 Nov 2004, Scott Walters wrote: > > >----- Forwarded message from "Meetup.com" ----- > > > >Return-Path: info@meetup.com > >X-Original-To: scott@slowass.net > >Delivered-To: scott@slowass.net > >Received: from mail3.meetup.com (mail3.meetup.com [209.10.134.202]) > > by slowass.net (Postfix) with ESMTP id 367F65538C > > for ; Mon, 15 Nov 2004 12:10:25 -0800 (PST) > >Received: from admin.meetup.com (admin.int.meetup.com [192.168.11.50]) > > by mail3.meetup.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id AD94D400253 > > for ; Mon, 15 Nov 2004 15:12:53 -0500 (EST) > >Message-ID: <14360994.1100549573687.JavaMail.root@admin.meetup.com> > >From: "Meetup.com" > >To: scott@slowass.net > >Subject: Phoenix Slashdot November Meetup is tomorrow! > >Mime-Version: 1.0 > >Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii > >Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit > >X-MEETUP-MESG-ID: 5222538 > >X-MEETUP-RECIP-ID: 40689 > >Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004 15:12:53 -0500 (EST) > > > >Just a quick automated reminder that Phoenix Slashdot Meetup > >Group has an event tomorrow. You didn't RSVP but if you can > >make it, here are the details: > > > >See who's coming and RSVP (it's not too late!): > >http://slashdot.meetup.com/10/events/3595303/ > > > >What: Phoenix Slashdot November Meetup > > > >When: Tuesday, November 16 at 7:00PM > >Where: To Be Determined > > > > > > > > > >Event Description: > >Lets see about actually getting a meetup to happen. > > > >Drop me a note if you have anything to suggest, whine about, or > >gripe. > > > > > >----------------------------------------------------------------- > >HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE > >You received this message because you registered this email > >address at Meetup.com. > > > >To unsubscribe from the Meetup.com service, click: > >http://www.meetup.com/account/remove/ > > > >To remove yourself from individual Meetup Groups, visit your > >account page and select 'Remove yourself' under the name of the > >Group. > >http://www.meetup.com/account/ > >----------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > >----- End forwarded message ----- > >_______________________________________________ > >Phoenix-pm mailing list > >Phoenix-pm@mail.pm.org > >http://www.pm.org/mailman/listinfo/phoenix-pm > > > _______________________________________________ > Phoenix-pm mailing list > Phoenix-pm@mail.pm.org > http://www.pm.org/mailman/listinfo/phoenix-pm From lists at innocence-lost.net Mon Nov 15 17:54:53 2004 From: lists at innocence-lost.net (jnf) Date: Mon Nov 15 17:55:06 2004 Subject: [Phoenix-pm] Fwd: Phoenix Slashdot November Meetup is tomorrow! In-Reply-To: References: <20041115220221.GR11690@illogics.org> Message-ID: Psh, we want to create a 'flash mob'. -- There are only two choices in life. You either conform the truth to your desire, or you conform your desire to the truth. Which choice are you making? On Mon, 15 Nov 2004, Bill Nash wrote: > Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004 15:32:38 -0800 (PST) > From: Bill Nash > To: Scott Walters > Cc: phoenix-pm@pm.org > Subject: Re: [Phoenix-pm] Fwd: Phoenix Slashdot November Meetup is tomorrow! > > > "Kind of pointless when a location hasn't even been chosen yet..." > > - billn > > On Mon, 15 Nov 2004, Scott Walters wrote: > > > ----- Forwarded message from "Meetup.com" ----- > > > > Return-Path: info@meetup.com > > X-Original-To: scott@slowass.net > > Delivered-To: scott@slowass.net > > Received: from mail3.meetup.com (mail3.meetup.com [209.10.134.202]) > > by slowass.net (Postfix) with ESMTP id 367F65538C > > for ; Mon, 15 Nov 2004 12:10:25 -0800 (PST) > > Received: from admin.meetup.com (admin.int.meetup.com [192.168.11.50]) > > by mail3.meetup.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id AD94D400253 > > for ; Mon, 15 Nov 2004 15:12:53 -0500 (EST) > > Message-ID: <14360994.1100549573687.JavaMail.root@admin.meetup.com> > > From: "Meetup.com" > > To: scott@slowass.net > > Subject: Phoenix Slashdot November Meetup is tomorrow! > > Mime-Version: 1.0 > > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii > > Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit > > X-MEETUP-MESG-ID: 5222538 > > X-MEETUP-RECIP-ID: 40689 > > Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004 15:12:53 -0500 (EST) > > > > Just a quick automated reminder that Phoenix Slashdot Meetup > > Group has an event tomorrow. You didn't RSVP but if you can > > make it, here are the details: > > > > See who's coming and RSVP (it's not too late!): > > http://slashdot.meetup.com/10/events/3595303/ > > > > What: Phoenix Slashdot November Meetup > > > > When: Tuesday, November 16 at 7:00PM > > Where: To Be Determined > > > > > > > > > > Event Description: > > Lets see about actually getting a meetup to happen. > > > > Drop me a note if you have anything to suggest, whine about, or > > gripe. > > > > > > ----------------------------------------------------------------- > > HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE > > You received this message because you registered this email > > address at Meetup.com. > > > > To unsubscribe from the Meetup.com service, click: > > http://www.meetup.com/account/remove/ > > > > To remove yourself from individual Meetup Groups, visit your > > account page and select 'Remove yourself' under the name of the > > Group. > > http://www.meetup.com/account/ > > ----------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > ----- End forwarded message ----- > > _______________________________________________ > > Phoenix-pm mailing list > > Phoenix-pm@mail.pm.org > > http://www.pm.org/mailman/listinfo/phoenix-pm > > > _______________________________________________ > Phoenix-pm mailing list > Phoenix-pm@mail.pm.org > http://www.pm.org/mailman/listinfo/phoenix-pm > > From perlguy at earthlink.net Fri Nov 19 11:29:50 2004 From: perlguy at earthlink.net (Douglas E. Miles) Date: Fri Nov 19 11:30:21 2004 Subject: [Phoenix-pm] [Fwd: Word Annoyances Needed for New Book] Message-ID: <419E2D8E.4020607@earthlink.net> Dear User Group Leader: O'Reilly is pulling together a new book called "Word Annoyances" and, once again, we'd like your help! As you might guess, "Word Annoyances" ponders the problems, snarls, quirks, bugs, and just dumb things about Word that drive users nuts. The annoyances will encompass a range of topics: general misbehavior, creating and saving documents, text entry and editing, formatting and layout, printing, tables, macros, etc. Word is the most ubiquitous--and probably the most annoying--word processor on the planet. If any members of your group have annoyances they'd like to see solved, have them email marsee@oreilly.com with "Word Annoyances" in the subject line. Just have them note what version of Word and Windows they're using. As always, thanks for sharing. We'll make sure to get copies of "Word Annoyances" sent to your group shortly after publication. --Marsee *** An example: The Annoyance The wretched animated paper clip keeps appearing every time I try to get help from Office, and sometimes even when I'm just working. How can I get rid of it? The Fix Some people love the Office Assistant characters--Clippit (the paper clip), Rocky the Dog, the Office Cat, the Genius, Mother Nature--but I've never met these people. Everyone who mentions the Office Assistant wants to get rid of it. And anyone enthusing about the wonders of Merlin is a good candidate for the target end of a fire-hose demonstration. To prevent the Office Assistant from appearing, right-click the Office Assistant character that's currently bugging you and click Properties on the shortcut menu. On the Options tab of the Office Assistant dialog box, clear the Use The Office Assistant check box. Click OK. What if you want the Office Assistant back? Simply choose Help > Show The Office Assistant, and the brute is back with you. Invoking the Office Assistant like this selects the Use The Office Assistant check box on the Options tab of the Office Assistant dialog box, so you'll need to clear this check box when you want peace and quiet again.