Millenium Pie

[Gathen, Bill]

> > >Written by Scott McNulty
> >
> > >Millennium Pie (with apologies to Don McLean, American Pie)
> >
> > >
> > >          A long, long time ago...
> > >          I can still remember how
> > >
> > >          Computers used to make me smile.
> > >          And I knew if I had my chance,
> > >          That I could make electrons dance,
> > >          And maybe I'd be happy for a while.
> > >
> > >          But January made me shiver,
> > >          it chilled me deep down in my liver,
> > >          Bad news I'd collected...
> > >          I couldn't get connected.
> > >
> > >          I can't remember back that day
> > >          When I first knew the Y2K
> > >          But something touched me anyway,
> > >          The day computers died.
> > >
> > >          So, ...Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
> > >          Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
> > >          And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
> > >          Saying this will be the day I retire
> > >          this will be the day I retire
> > >
> > >          Can you write in C plus plus ?
> > >          And do you have faith in your local bus
> > >          If the driver tells you so ?
> > >
> > >          Do you believe in Compaq's goals
> > >          Can software save your mortal soul
> > >          And can you teach me how to type real slow ?
> > >
> > >          Well I thought that you were prepared
> > >          'Cause your memo said you weren't impaired
> > >          Your stationery's swell
> > >          But you can go to hell
> > >
> > >          I was a lonely teenage Unix hack
> > >          With an incantation and a modem jack
> > >          but I knew the cat had left the sack
> > >          The day computers died
> > >          I started singin'...
> > >
> > >          Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
> > >          Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
> > >          And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
> > >          Saying this will be the day I retire
> > >          this will be the day I retire
> > >
> > >          Now for 10 years we've ignored the threat
> > >          And we haven't solved the problem yet
> > >          But that's not how it used to be
> > >
> > >          When the luddites read for the king and queen
> > >          with a light they filled with kerosene
> > >          And some manuals they stole from you and me
> > >
> > >          And while Bill Gates was looking pleased
> > >          Time stole his monopolies
> > >          The courtroom was adjourned
> > >          No verdict was returned
> > >
> > >          While Apple tried a color scheme
> > >          The engineers returned to steam
> > >          And we had purges of their dreams
> > >          The day computers died
> > >          We were singin'
> > >
> > >          Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
> > >          Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
> > >          And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
> > >          Saying this will be the day I retire
> > >          this will be the day I retire
> > >
> > >          Intel inside in an iron smelter
> > >          The food leftover from my fallout shelter
> > >          Twinkies old and aging fast
> > >
> > >          I'd rather eat the grass
> > >
> > >          Q and A tried for a system crash
> > >          With the tester on the sidelines in a cast
> > >
> > >          Now the timeshare net was running Doom
> > >          While mainframes played a marching tune
> > >          We all tried to log in
> > >          Oh, but we never could begin
> > >
> > >          'Cause Cobol tried to take the field,
> > >          And Holerith refused to yield.
> > >          Do you recall what was revealed,
> > >          The day computers died?
> > >          We started singing
> > >
> > >          Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
> > >          Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
> > >          And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
> > >          Saying this will be the day I retire
> > >          this will be the day I retire
> > >
> > >          There we were all in a state
> > >          A generation- really late
> > >          With no time left to start again
> > >
> > >          So come on mouse be nimble, mouse be quick
> > >          Don't let my spreadsheet data stick
> > >          'Cause data is the devil's only friend.
> > >
> > >          As I watched him on my screen
> > >          My hands and face were drenched in steam
> > >          No angel born in hell
> > >          Could run that stupid shell
> > >
> > >          And as the ball climbed high into the night
> > >          To call the sacrificial night
> > >          I saw Dick Clark laughing with delight
> > >          the day computers died.
> > >
> > >          I met a girl with a cell phone
> > >          And I asked her for a dial tone
> > >          But she just smiled and turned away
> > >
> > >          I went down to the software store
> > >          Where I'd seen computers years before
> > >          But the man there said the games there
> > >          wouldn't play
> > >
> > >          And in the streets the children screamed
> > >          The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
> > >          their interface was spoken
> > >          The Internet was broken
> > >
> > >          And the three things I connect to most
> > >          The Website, Lan and the Network host
> > >          Every single one was toast
> > >          The day computers died
> > >          They were singin'
> > >
> > >          Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
> > >          Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
> > >          And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
> > >          Saying this will be the day I retire
> > >          this will be the day I retire
> > >
> > >
> > >          Copyright ScottMcNulty.
> >                 July 1999