SPUG: "The syntax don't enter into it. It's stone dead."

Andrew Sweger andrew at sweger.net
Sat Jul 27 00:38:17 CDT 2002

The following is an adaptation of a "Python" script about a dead Parrot. I
pieced it together (and made minor edits) from a few postings on
Slashdot's scripting language poll. Apologies if you have seen it a
million times already.


"I wish to complain about this scripting language what I purchased not
half an hour ago from this very boutique..."

"It's not dead, it's just sleeping."

"All right, then if it's resting, I'll wake it up! HELLO MR. POLLY PARROT!

"There, it called a method!"

"No it didn't! That was you executing bytecode!"

"I never!"

"You did! I saw you hit the hot key!"

"Look, if I hadn't have executed that byte code to slow it down, that
script would have loaded into memory, jumped into the interpreter, and
VROOM!!! ... finished before you even saw it start"


"yes VROOM.."

"Look Matey, that PARROT script wouldn't VROOM on ASCII WHITE! It's
bleeding demised!!!"

"NO NO it's sleeping"

"It's not sleeping it's stuck on line 1...
  This script is no more... 
  It has ceased to be...
  It's expired and gone to meet the recycle bin...
  It's a like Microsoft product...
  Bereft of life, it rests in peace, if you hadn't executed that byte
code it'd be at 0% processor usage. 
  It's off the process list... 
  It's shuffled off ps -ef...
  It's run down /dev/null and joined the bleeding choir invisible...
  (looks at script) It f---ing blue screened. (hits CTRL-ALT-DEL repeatedly)
  It's off the job queue, (picks up mouse and starts banging it on the
keyboard with each statement being said)
  It's had its lot, 
  All statements to the effect that this script is still a going concern
are for now on inoperative,
  This is an EX PARROT!!!" (drops keyboard and mouse in trash can) ...

Enjoy wisely. And if you haven't seen Parrot, the new VM behind Perl 6 and
just about everything else, check out http://dev.perl.org/ Three cheers
for Dan and Leon, et al, for our dead parrot. Long live parrot!

Andrew B. Sweger -- The great thing about multitasking is that several
                                things can go wrong at once.

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