1999-06-02 Meet

[Leon Brocard]

Yo.

Yes, Bath.pm meet again. And it'll probably rain, rather
typically. I hope you all had a good weekend, and I
shall begin by quoting from Ashley Pomeroy on the
(void) mailing list...
 
> The rain in Spain does not fall mainly on the plain.
> The greatest rainfall is found around the north coastal regions, which tend to
> be hilly. The plains, which are inland, are comparatively rain-free, with only
> two inches of rainfall recorded in 1996, and half an inch in 1995.
> 
> Too many Cooks do not always spoil the broth.
> A Guinness Record-breaking attempt by students at Reading University reveals
> that, provided the ratio of stock to Cook-flesh is maintained at an optimum
> level, an indefinite amount of cooks can be cooked. Twelve students were later
> arrested. 'These people are sick', said one Policeman.
> 
> Variety is not the spice of life.
> Laboratory studies at have revealed that rats live longer and have lower heart
> rates when their environment remains constant. Scientists speculate that the
> familiarity of their surroundings puts the rats at ease. 'Obviously', said one,
> 'familiarity does not breed contempt'.
> 
> A bird in the hand is worth seven pounds and fifty-five pence.
> The Bato tribe of South America use the local variety of Pigeon as currency. The
> exchange rate, based on the relative values of coffee, works out at just over
> seven and a half pounds for an medium-sized bird.
> 
> You can get quicker than a Kwik-Fit Fitter.
> When tested against Royal Signal Corps Engineers by 'Top Gear Magazine' the
> Kwik-Fit Fitters were marginally slower at exhaust removal and replacement. They
> were considerably more trustworthy, though.
> 
> Yes. They do know that it is Christmas time.
> A survey conducted amongst the peasant population of Niger reveals that 60 per
> cent of tribesmen knew that the date was in December. Only ten per cent knew the
> exact day. Two per cent of tribesmen believed that there had only been one
> Christmas. Twelve of the survey subjects claimed to be Father Christmas and one
> claimed to be Jesus Christ himself. 'Obviously', said Bob Geldof (54), 'This
> shows that people can make a difference'.
> 
> A picture tells precisely one thousand and sixty-five words.
> Intensive studies at Plymouth University amongst the student population have
> revealed that, amazingly, 35 mm photo slides requires slightly over a thousand
> words to describe. 'I am astonished', said Professor Brian Mushens. 'We expected
> some variation, but the results remained constant. Even for different films'.
> 'Obviously', said a Policeman, 'a picture does not tell a thousand words'.
> ...
> Apparently, during the making of 'Star Wars: A New Hope: The Special Edition'
> twenty square kilometres of Tunisian desert had to be raised three feet into the
> air so that the crew could run cables and electrical equipment under it. After
> elevation they discovered that Tunisia lay on a bed of Roy Schieder's old
> clothes. Roy (63) was so untidy he had lost them whilst shooting 'Marathon Man'.
> 'Obviously I'm relieved', said the actor, 'but they probably won't fit me any
> more'.

Which sums it up really, doesn't it?

Leon
-- 
Leon Brocard................................http://bath.pm.org/
leon at netcraft.com........................http://www.astray.com/

... I'm sorry, Reality is not in service at this time.